excerpt from People Magazine

...we managed to sit down with noted New Testament scholar Elaine Pagels to ask her about Dr. Farquhar's latest contention that the Zaccheus Gospel gives the first credible evidence that Jesus of Nazareth was, in fact, under 1.2 meters tall--and that the real reasons for his arrest, trial and crucifixion were motivated by nothing less than bigotry against short people.

Does this Gospel of Zaccheus reveal something new about early Christianity?

Yes, the Gospel of Zaccheus really has been a shock. For one thing, there's no other text that suggests that Jesus of Nazareth himself was a midget--excuse me, a short person. Or still further that Zaccheus the Tax Collector was an intimate, trusted disciple, one to whom Jesus revealed the secrets of the kingdom, and that conversely, the other disciples--just lumbering pituitary cases by comparison-- were misunderstanding what he meant by the gospel. So that's quite eye-opening.

What about the contention that Jesus was crucified to save midg--I mean, short people?

Absolutely. It has to be given serious consideration. Look at the marvelous bits Drs. Farquhar and Pleebus have given us so far: "Blessed are the poor in hormones, for theirs is the Kingdom of God."

Indeed. Truly inspiring...

And that's just for starters.

And the bigotry aspect? Some scholars have reacted quite harshly to Dr. Farquhar's contention that the High Priest Caiaphas was filled with an insatiable hatred of all things short and dainty.

I can accept the very real possibility of Jesus' diminutive stature. However, I think it's a little premature to assume his execution was purely based on bigotry.

Just a little?

Yes. For example, it's clear from internal evidence that the high priest Caiphas walked on stilts, cleverly hidden beneath his robes.

Wouldn't that rather be taken as evidence to confirm Dr. Farquhar's thesis?

Only if you assume Caiaphas hated himself for being short. It's quite possible to argue, and French Philosopher Gilles Deleuze does quite eloquently in his latest book The Doughnuts of Difference, that the very hidden-ness of the stilts inside Caiaphas' skirts testifies in fact to his true humanity.

Um...I thought Deleuze died in 1995...

Oh, sorry! I meant Gilles Defreeze....

It wasn't Caiaphas who condemned Jesus then?

No, its quite clear now that Pontius Pilate, whom the Zaccheus Gospel describes as almost 2.5 meters tall, is the real culprit here...